Musings on Marriage

Well I’ve thought off and on throughout the past month, thinking what on earth I could possibly say about marriage. While I can’t talk about anything I have personally done in a marriage, watching some close friends and family tie the knot has made me muse a little about the topic as of late.

So, I’ll start off with a story. It gives a smooth transition from my last blog on missions to this one on marriage. I’m on my plane ride home to Calgary from my mission in North Carolina, sitting next to a salesman from Calgary—divorced, with a daughter, who is coming home from a business trip. Still the ever eager beaver missionary, I struck up a conversation with him that soon turned into him asking me some questions about my mission and my faith. One of the most interesting points in the conversation with him was, after explaining to him the Law of Chastity, his surprise and amusement that I had kept it, and planned on staying chaste until marriage. He then went on to say “Man, if I was you I would get married in a heartbeat!”

I start out with this story to demonstrate just how different an LDS perspective on marriage is compared to the rest of the world. Marriage, in the world’s sense, seems to more of a means to an end, whether that is for sexual, financial, or emotional gain for a marriage partner. An LDS perspective, in my opinion, views marriage as not a means to an end but as THE END and ultimate goal.

It was neat to see my sister begin in her journey of marriage a few weeks ago as she was sealed to husband in the Cardston Temple. Something I have thought of since that time is was it really means to be sealed. The ceremony itself is very simple and beautiful. But, what is more important is the living and keeping of the commandments AFTER someone is married. That’s where the Spirit literally “seals” the marriage. Consider it like a boss doing a report of your work efficiency and effectiveness in the office. His report comes back positive as he approves of the work you are doing. Or, in a religious context, you could consider it like God giving a stamp of approval or  “liking the status” of your marriage. Okay, the facebook analogy may be lame and border sacrilege, but it’s part of a bigger principle to think about. We spend a lot of time saying and posting things that others like and approve of. But do we take time to consider what God thinks and approves of more than everyone else? I know I’m guilty of not doing that enough.

I’m still just squirming inside wondering what I’m doing right now writing about this topic, but I’ll just keep writing, cause if you see this then you’re still reading.  I really think it is a taboo topic for young people in the LDS Church to talk about it. What is interesting to mention is that YSA wards are basically set up in a way to help people get married. Yup. Don’t believe me? Here’s something I learned this weekend. Right in the Church Handbook 2, that is open to everyone to see. It reads (in 16.2) “[Stake and Ward Leaders] create opportunities for young single adults to associate together in meaningful service, gospel learning, and social activities. A central purpose of these activities is to help young single adults find marriage partners and prepare to marry in the temple and raise righteous families.” Interesting eh? Ironically the purpose of single adult wards is to decrease their membership ☺

So I’ve ranted and rambled on about a lot of different things. But when it comes down to it I think it just makes sense that marriage is a natural part of life that brings a lot of happiness. Has your heart ever just melted holding a little boy or girl? I bet it has. To me, that’s one natural way that we can know that families are not just important but something special. So, as basic and simple as it sounds, I think it is natural for people to want to get married. As one of my good missionary companions reminded me (speaking about missionary work), “It’s not natural that 2 guys live together in an apartment and are around each other all day”. Nope. He was right. It sure isn’t natural. I live in a house with 9 guys right now. Nobody can tell me that's normal.  But, there is a time and a place for all good natural things. Just as having constant access to a candy store all the time with an unlimited amount of money would get tiring after a while, if we could do all the good things whenever we wanted they really wouldn’t be good or special anymore. The longer you’ve gone without water the better it seems to taste.  I think of marriage similarly.

So that’s all I got. Just to clear things up, I’m not one of those crazy guys who takes 10+ girls on a date per week to find the one to marry. Don’t laugh too hard, I’ve seen it happen before. Things will happen when they’re supposed to happen. I’m not too worried. Even for my old cousin, who I will not name. Love you Clark.