You may wonder why I have chosen to write and express my views on both missions and marriage. Let me tell you why. First of all, I got home from my mission to North Carolina in December of last year, making it about 10 months since I got home. I don't think a day has gone by without something I learned or someone I was taught by crossing my mind. Also, as most of you are aware, President Monson, in this past General Conference, announced that the age to serve a full time mission for LDS Church has changed, with young men now having the option to serve at the age of 18 (one year earlier than previously able to), and Sisters now being able to go at the age of 19 (two years earlier than previously able to). So hopefully some of my comments with the perspective of one who has gone and served might help those considering to go.
As far as marriage goes, personal experience is NOT why I chose to write about this. I won't be giving any advice; I don't have any. Me giving marriage advice would be like Mike Tyson selling encyclopaedias door to door (this joke isn't mine, I heard it once on Whose line is it Anyway). BUT, during the past two months I have been to three different weddings/sealings at LDS temples. So with that new experience and perspective I want to tell you what I have learned. So let's dive into things shall we?
Missions
Lesson 1: Receive a confirmation that what you are doing is right with God.
It is said that sometimes mistakes are the best teachers. I believe it. I made a pretty big one in hindsight before I left on my mission. A little background may be helpful in sharing with you my sin (k really guys, stop judging, it wasn't that bad). My parents are really awesome. They both served missions, my Father in France, and my mother in Belgium. My brother was able to go as well. He went to the West Indies mission in the Carribean speaking French. So with those places in my mind, I thought of what exotic place I would go. Brazil was my biggest hope. I remember specifically that I didn't want to go to the east coast. I don't know why I ever said that, but I did. Maybe the Lord has a sense of humour, or maybe he just wanted me to learn to love those people I didn't before, but to North Carolina I was called and to North Carolina I went. This thought occurred to me a long ways into my mission (at least a few months: Why didn't I pray to know that North Carolina was where I was supposed to go? I was happy to go on a mission, and felt like I should because of what the Lord has done for me. But that didn't really cut it when the going got tough. I'm going to be very open to you right now. I remember talking to my Dad on Mothers day after a few months into my mission. He could sense that I was struggling and asked me a very pointed questing to this affect: Do you feel like what your doing is worth it? And to be completely honest with you and him I couldn't say yes. I may or may not have cried. This is awkward; my last two posts I have told you I cried. As far as I can recount, I've only cried twice, so no more stories about me crying.Thanks heavens for prayer, and for forgiveness, as I was able to soon receive confirmation that that was where I was needed, and the people of North Carolina will always have a place in my heart.
I think I need to say one more thing on this subject, and I don't mean to step on any toes or push buttons but here I go. We stress missionary work a lot in the Church, especially for the brethren. I would hope that we are not quick to judge those who choose not to serve, whether it is because they are not able to or for other reasons that we are not aware of, or those who simply choose not to go. What I think is important is WHY we do things, rather than just doing them. When a general authority visited my mission he told a sobering story I would never forget. A missionary, almost a year and a half into his mission, told this general authority( then serving as his mission president) that what he would tell him would probably discredit him from serving. He went on to tell how he had broken the law of chastity with his girlfriend his senior year of high school. They both sobbed after realizing what they had done, and promised to each other right then and there they would never go that far while dating again. Unfortunately, this couple thought that forsaking their sins alone would bring forgiveness, without confessing. An apostle then spoke on repentance while this young man was at the MTC, and after the talk went straight to his branch president's office to speak with him. However, the line was so long to see the branch president that the missionary got scared, and vowed to put the past behind him and do the best he could. So with that story being said, the mission president counselled with the appropriate channels and the decision was made to send this Elder home. So, now I have a question for you. What do you think of this story? How do you view this missionary? I see him as brave beyond belief for having the faith to tell his mission president and the courage to have an "I don't care what others think, I know what the Lord things" attitude. Yes, he made a mistake. Yes, he should have fixed it sooner. But the strength needed to go home to your family and friends, having the appearance of failing them and their expectations, when in reality what he did was save a soul-- his own.
So, its easy to put people into boxes. Sinners, saints. RM. Premie. But when it comes right down to it the only box I never get in trouble putting people in is a child of God.
So please learn from my mistake of not receiving a confirmation and the elders mistake of not fully repenting. Before deciding to serve, rather than going because of the Church's strong suggesting, or your families, or even to achieve a personal goal, I would suggest to learn specifically that what you want to do is what God wants you to do. This topic has a much larger theme than just deciding about missionary service, but I won't get to that--yet.
Lesson 2: Sister Missionaries DO WORK
Okay, so Sister Missionaries sometimes get a bad rap. But when it comes right down to it, they are pretty dang good at what they do. A Priesthood Leader in my mission said once that one of the reasons he believes men are given the Priesthood is because it forces them to serve, whereas women are just naturally given that ability. Yes, Sisters may be a little more emotional on the outside than some Elders, and yes, they may want to talk to their District Leaders (who are a few years younger than them) about problems they wouldn't know how to begin to solve. But in the words of Elder Scott, he counselled our mission to "watch the sisters". That's how good he thinks they are and shows how much he esteems them to be.
A short story will illustrate the point. i just recently went to a mission reunion, and was having a SUPER time catching up with a missionary who had served in similar areas as me. We went back and forth asking about different people we had taught and how they were doing, when I happened to ask her about a specific person convert. She told me how the branch had done such a great job of friendshipping her, but to my amazement, she told me that her companion, upon arriving home, had called this convert each and every day for a long time, to spend time reading the Book of Mormon with her! Thank heavens I didn't cry when hearing this, but it's just that powerful! That's the kind of commitment and caring and Christlike love that I feel sisters can contribute to missionary work.
Lesson 3: Keep an eternal perspective
Holy smokes, missionary work is tough. I don't want to paint a bad picture for you, but I want you to know what to expect. Elder Andersen came to the MTC while I was there and said that in life some of the greatest blessings we will receive need to be paid for in advance. And, that our time in the mission field dedicating our lives to the Lord was part of that payment. His words sure helped me when times were hard. But I thought a lot about others during the first few months of my mission when times were hard. I thought about my ancestors who crossed the plains, and of my own parents, who had a much tougher time in Europe finding success than in the Christian culture of the South .What if my parents just decided to throw in the towel when a few challenges got in their way? Elder Nelson puts it beautifully when he says that "All that the future holds in store for each sacred child of God will be shaped by his or her parents, family, friends, and teachers. Thus, our faith now becomes part of our posterity’s faith later."Who knew that one of the people my parents would touch the most because of their missions would be me? I will always be blessed by a family in my first area, that lived and loved the Gospel and it showed in the way they acted and in their faces. When life was hard and success couldn't be seen, I thought of them and the type of future I wanted, and it gave me hope. So while the intensity of missionary work will last for two years, what the Lord really wants out of us is slow, steady, consistency and commitment. Elder Maxwell calls it incremental improvement. Its cliche I know, but after all the work and challenges and trials and temptations come all the blessings, but it's repeated so much in the Church because it is true!
Well after seeing how much I have talked about missions, I'm going to save marriage for next month. Writing about it, that is. What I'm most interested in are your thoughts and questions, as I'm betting a TON of you may have with President Monson's announcement. Feel free to message me if any do come. I haven't thrown many quotes in this months post, so I'll end on one from Preach My Gospel that means a lot to me.
The Lord will reward and richly bless you as you humbly and prayerfully
serve Him. More happiness awaits you than you have ever experienced as
you labor among His children.
